you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
