You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
