Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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