I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
soo... how was my night?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
