...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
