ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
