Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
