i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
