Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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