So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
