U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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