That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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