laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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