Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
