Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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