its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
