I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if i died would you start the facebook group?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
