I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
