he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
