i need an iv and a liver transplant
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
