I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
