its not stalking. its research.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
