My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
