girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You did what with his pubic hair?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
