like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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