I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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