so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
