Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
