Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
