hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
