What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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