Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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