He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm passing your future prison.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
