we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
