okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize