oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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