trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
