their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
