So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
