Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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