And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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