I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
how does that bad decision feel?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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