i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize