You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
