I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
