I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
