After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
