So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
