Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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