She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
