Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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