I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
