Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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