did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
